眼中驚奇

以下文章來源→https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9sVrUTRjjVc

In a perfect world, when it came to choosing an occupation, we would have only two priorities in mind:

在一個完美的世界裡，當談到選擇一個職業，我們心裡只有兩個優先事項：

firstly to find a job that we enjoyed

首先找到一份我們喜歡的工作

and secondly to find a job that paid us enough to cover reasonable material needs

其次是找到一份薪水足以支付我們的合理的物質需求工作

But in order to think so freely, we would have to be emotionally balanced in a way that few of us are.

但為了如此自由地思考，我們會必須以某種方式在情感上保持平衡我們當中很少有人是。

 In reality, when it comes to choosing an occupation, we tend to be haunted by three additional priorities. We need:

實際上，當談到選擇職業，我們往往會鬧鬼通過三個額外的優先事項。我們需要：

to find a job that will pay not just enough to cover reasonable material expenses 

找到一份薪水不只夠的支付合理物質需求的工作，

but a lot more besides, enough to impress other people - even other people we don’t like very much.

但除此之外還有很多，足以打動其他人人 - 甚至是其他我們不非常喜歡的人。

 we crave to find a job that will allow us not to be at the mercy of other people, whom we may deep down fear and distrust.

我們渴望找到一份能讓我們工作的工作不受他人的擺佈，他們可能會使我們深深地感到恐懼和不信任。

and we hope for a job that will make us well known, esteemed, honoured and perhaps

famous, sothat we will never again have to feel small or neglected.

我們希望有一份能讓我們眾所周知的，受人尊敬的，受人尊敬的，或許出名，這樣我們就再也不用感到渺小或被忽視。

Needless to say, these three additional requirements make working life hugely more complicated and unhappy than it would otherwise have needed to be. 

不用說，這三個附加要求使工作生活變得更加複雜並且比原本還更不開心。 

No wonder we may get stuck choosing what to do. 

難怪我們可能會陷入選則困難。

Rather than being able to focus on the jobs that we are passionate about and that we would intrinsically enjoy, we have to twist our natures to appease extrinsic imperatives.

而不是能夠集中注意力在我們熱衷和我們會從本質上享受的工作，我們勢必得扭曲我們的本性以安撫外在

There is no way that we could,for example, work as a kindergarten teacher, a psychotherapist, a carpenter or a cook.

我們沒有辦法，例如，擔任幼兒園老師，心理治療師、木匠或廚師​​。

Our psychological drive to impress, to have power over others and to be known to strangers preclude such relatively modest choices from the outset.

我們的心理驅向於，想要給人留下深刻印象，對他人有權力，和被陌生人認識，從一開始便排除這種相對溫和的選擇。

The state of our psyches means that we have to aim for far more stellar careers, even in fields we really don’t much like and we may have to work much harder than is good for our health or our families.

我們的心理狀態意味著我們瞄準更出色的職業，甚至在我們不太喜歡的領域，可能不得不比工作更努力地工作，為了我們的健康或我們的家人。

We are prone to be constantly panicked - because the bar for ‘failing’ is so much higher.

我們很容易經常驚慌失措 - 因為“失敗”的標準要高得多。

A slight wind of disapproval from the public might be experienced as appalling, a bit less money than the astronomical sum we made last year will register as fateful. 

輕微公眾的反對之風可能被體驗為駭人聽聞，比我們去年賺的天文數字少一點錢，將註冊為決定性的。

Under pressure, we may make unwise and hasty moves, we might cut corners, involve ourselves in risky schemes and not give our work the time and calm it needs.

在壓力之下，我們可能會做出不明智和草率的舉動，我們可能會偷工減料，讓自己捲入危險的計劃，而不是給我們的工作所需的時間和平靜。

What would enable us to make the right career choices is something that seems, on the face of it, to have nothing to do with work at all: love, a profound experience of love in both childhood and adulthood.

能讓我們做出正確職業選擇的，從其表面上看，與工作完全無關：愛，童年和成年時期對愛的深刻體驗。

A child who is properly loved is a creature who doesn’t need to prove itself in any significant way. 

一個被適當愛的孩子是一個不需要以任何重要方式證明自己的生物。

It doesn’t have to excel at school, dazzle acquaintances or shore up a parent’s fragile sense of esteem (it may do well at school any way but because it enjoys the work, not because it has to boost a parent).

它不必在學校表現出色、讓熟人眼花繚亂或支持父母脆弱的自尊感（它可能在學校表現良好，但因為牠喜歡工作，而不是因為它必須提升父母）。

It can find its way to its own pleasures, it doesn’t need to amaze; because it’s special enough just by existing.

它可以找到自己的樂趣，它不需要驚奇；因為它是僅憑存在就足夠特別。
 

It may end up working extremely hard, but it will do so because it is passionate, not because it craves applause. It can concentrate on doing a job very well, while unimpeded by any worries as to whether it will be known in 100 years or to people in another city.

它可能最終會非常努力地工作，但它會這樣做是因為它充滿激情，而不是因為它渴望掌聲。它可以專心做好本職工作，而不必擔心它是否會在100年後為人所知，或者是否會被其他城市的人們所知。

 It can potter away in obscurity, deriving gratification from the business at hand.

它可以默默無聞，從手頭的業務中獲得滿足感。

An experience of adult love further enhances the  sense of security we need. When someone

properly loves us, their patience, concern and tenderness make us feel rooted and welcome

on the earth. 

成人愛的體驗進一步增強了必要的安全感。當某人適當地愛我們，他們的耐心、關心和溫柔讓我們感到紮根和受歡迎在地球上。

It doesn’t really matter if no one knows who we are and if there is very little left over at the end of the month.

如果沒有人知道我們是誰，或者月底剩下的錢是否很少，這並不重要。

Two people who are in love will be happy to sleep on a park bench,’ wrote D. H. Lawrence, an idea which may not be literally true, but which conveys well enough what room for manoeuvre love gives us in relation to our material priorities

相愛的兩個人會很高興睡在公園的長椅上，”D. H. 勞倫斯寫道，這個想法可能不是真的，但它很好地傳達了愛情在我們的物質優先權方面給我們的迴旋餘地

It follows that when people crave power, fortune and fame, it isn’t greed that is driving them, but an anguished feeling of being unloved- for which we can feel enormous compassion.

因此，當人們渴望權力、財富和名望時，驅使他們的不是貪婪，而是一種不被愛的痛苦感覺——對此我們可以感受到巨大的同情。

They look like winners, they are in reality unhappy victims.

他們看起來像贏家，實際上是不幸的受害者。

Excessive achievements are the legacy of an emotionally damaged sense that it isn’t enough just to be.

過度的成就是情感受損的感覺的遺產這還不夠。

It may have become second nature to us to try to fix emotional wounds through our career

choices and exploits.

在我們的職業生涯中嘗試修復情感創傷可能已成為我們的第二天性選擇和利用。

We may not even realize what we are up to. We should dare to ask:

我們甚至可能沒有意識到我們在做什麼。我們應該敢問：

what might I have done with my life if I had felt properly loved from the start? 

如果我從一開始就感受到了適當的愛，我會對我的生活做些什麼？

And we may have to acknowledge, with tears in our eyes, how different our path would have been, how many genuine ambitions we sacrificed in the name of shoring up a sense of acceptability

我們可能不得不淚流滿面地承認，我們的道路會有多麼不同，為了支持被接納的感覺，我們犧牲了多少真正的抱負

we should have had from infancy.

我們應該從嬰儿期開始。

The most astonishing career achievements will never compensate anyone for the lack of love they have suffered: work cannot fix a deficit of love.

最驚人的事業成就永遠無法彌補任何人所遭受的愛的缺失：工作無法彌補愛的缺失。

We should enjoy work on its own terms and, in another part of our lives, mourn andseek redemptive substitutes for the love we originally lacked.

我們應該以自己的方式享受工作，而在我們生活的另一部分，哀悼和尋找我們最初缺乏的愛的救贖替代品。